i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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