it was like his penis was on wheels.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize