the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
