Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
