I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
