oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he shaved USA in his pubs
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
