im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
