he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
