You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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