brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You ate ashes out of my bong
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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