Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
