After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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