Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
