we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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