She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
