He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
