He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
