Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
