i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
