Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize