went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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