Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
