Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
high people should be assigned attendants
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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