She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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