erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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