Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
