My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
