that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
