I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize