This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
well you can't waste a boner
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
