Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize