I'd wear matching sweaters with you
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
