good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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