There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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