so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
