sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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