love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
