Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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