I don't think brook has ever known best
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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