genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
