how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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