Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize