That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
