I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
