Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
