This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
