he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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