i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm way too hungover for life right now
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
