So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
