He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He better not be in your backpack
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
