I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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