Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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