we're chasing vodka with high fives
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
