Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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