um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This baby is an asshole
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
