I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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