i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
