sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
