I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
