dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize