My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
