Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
