if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
