My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Randomize
