can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
