I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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