Kiss
Puke
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize