i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize