Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize