They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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