he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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