i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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