we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
