wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
