He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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